Baby Belly Woes, to the Chiropractor We Go

imageEver since she was born, my sweet little girl has dealt with some sort of tummy trouble. At first, it was gas and colic. Grammy found a wonderful product called ColicCalm, and it provided some relief. We became masters of the leg pedal and stomach massage, and I wouldn’t be surprised if my little girl has learned to celebrate every toot she emits with a ‘yay!’ and cheers. Once she neared 3 months, the colic began to subside but she was still very fussy more often than not, (translation, never have you seen such mighty Tarzanian yells out of such a tiny body).

We discovered she was dealing with reflux as well, and our pediatrician prescribed ranitidine, explaining that insurance would not cover the better reflux medication until we tried this one. It had zero effect, and so they switched us to Prevacid. I’m not a big fan of giving my teeny little baby much besides breastmilk, but I am also not a big fan of her projectile vomiting multiple times a day. We still weren’t pleased with the results of the Prevacid, so we began to research alternatives. A friend recommended chiropractic treatments, and we decided to give it a try.

This past week was our first treatment, we discovered our little girl has imagea beautiful spine and palate, but an unusually tight neck and irritated diaphragm. She did not mind the majority of the treatment, which was basically like gentle baby massage, however when the doctor went to release her neck muscles she complained at the top of her voice. The doctor explained that while it wasn’t comfortable to release she would probably express relief right afterwards, and she did, with a giant baby sigh. According to the doctor she will only need one more visit. It’s five days after her first adjustment, and the jury is still out. She’s still vomiting, we are both on outfit number two for the day. My husband attempted to greet me with a kiss after work and stuck his hand in a lovely giant vomit spot on my side. To his credit he did not recoil in disgust, but took baby girl so I could change. I will admit I would be just fine not smelling of ode de la Baby Puke so often, (lavender oil only does so much, and while I am fast at dodging, she is faster at puking).

We will go for the last appointment, and perhaps, hopefully,  it will make a huge difference. If not, we will continue to try various natural remedies we find and thankfully she will eventually grow out of it. In the meantime, I will continue to work on mastering the BabyPuke Dodge and Wipe.

Co-sleeping, How I Survive

imagePeople have co-slept as long as the human race has existed. Babies didn’t have their own separate mud huts, they stayed near mom at all times. Warmth, protection, there were many reasons to not let your infant leave your side. Of course today our circumstances are different. It is highly unlikely a wolf will sneak into your baby’s room and devour it in the night, and we live in comfortably climate controlled homes. Personally, I had resolved to use the crib when my babies arrived. I valiantly declared they would sleep on their own. My own mother, who co-slept all three of her girls, patiently helped me set the crib up beautifully with baby sheets and bumpers, smiling a quiet little smile as I adamantly insisted my babies would only sleep in their bassinets or the crib.

imageWell, my babies finally arrived one day. Not surprisingly, they didn’t like the cold plastic bassinets at the hospital. (Who would when your previous residence had been a warm squishy womb!) We brought them home from the hospital, celebrated our triumphant return as a family of four with a meal my mother had lovingly prepared and got ready for our first night at home. We tucked our tiny new members snugly into their vibrating, rocking bassinets and prepared ourselves to sleep.image

Now, newborns wake up a lot, but that first night our little babies didn’t sleep at all. Not even a five minute stretch. The minute their tiny bodies touched the bassinets they would begin to wail. We were desperate, in a haze we wondered if this up all night routine would be our lives the next few months. I still get PTSD from that first night when I hear the bassinets whirring.

The following night while nursing them I realized as long as they were near us, touching us, they would sleep. Of course they woke up to eat but they would at least sleep a little. After my 24 hour holdout, I brought them into our bed. Of course they didn’t immediately start sleeping for long periods of time, but they slept. And that was all I asked for. We tried a few more times to let them sleep in their bassinets but to no avail. They calmed instantly when near us, and it seemed absurd to insist to these tiny beings they couldn’t be with us for comfort when that was all they asked for.image

Nowadays, they sleep like angels. They wake a few times a night to eat, and since I sleep between them I simply flop back and forth. One latches, we both snooze off. The other one wakes, I flip over, they latch, we snooze off. Sometimes they wake up simply because they want an arm wrapped around them. And since they’re right there, it’s easy to do. My mom never said I told you so, just smiled a quiet smile when I announced the babies were in our bed to stay.

imageAnd I don’t regret it a moment. Given a choice of trucking across the house multiple times a night for feedings or waking periodically for cuddles, let me tell you, cuddles win every time. With my twins eating the way they do, I would spend less time in my bed than I would walking back and forth though the house. Cuddles aside, I credit my sanity to our decision to co-sleep. No, it hasn’t ruined my marriage. My husband and I are even excited for the day we add more wee ones to our brood and our bed becomes even more full. And yes, my children will one day sleep in their own beds. I hope that day takes a while to get here, I don’t know what I’ll do without their soft cheeks, midnight hugs and sweet hair to smell.

Saying No

 One of the biggest lessons I am learning as a parent is how to organize my priorities. A big, giant chunk of this involves learning to say no. Not just to other people, but most often to myself. I have realized that many things that were very important to me must become less important in favor of my children. A dear friend recently said to me, ‘I didn’t realize how selfish I was until I had children’.

I’ve never considered myself to be a selfish person, in fact I have often had to work on ever putting myself before others or tasks. In short, saying no has been very hard. And, until recently, this seemed in my mind to be a non-selfish personality trait. But having children has greatly changed my perspective on this.  Who benefits from saying yes to every engagement to make myself look good? Who appreciates that the dishes only sat in the sink for five minutes? I’m the first to admit that I’m an obsessive clean freak. But. At the end of the day, the dishes don’t need me to be their hero. My pants will last to be washed another day. That makeup lesson can be taught just as well next week. Today, my children need me to be their hero. They need those five minutes of us staring into each other’s eyes.

It sounds so cliche, ‘I had to learn to leave the mess to spend time with my kids’. But I have. I’ve had to make the conscious decision to walk away from the messy bookshelf to read a story, to leave the pile of laundry to share a giggle. I want to be SuperMom. I want the laundry always clean and folded, the floors always sparkling, dinner always made. And some days, I do get it all done. I get up early, they sleep, and it all comes together. And then some days it doesn’t. I have to remind myself it’s ok if we eat nachos again, and the laundry will eventually get folded.

I chose to bring these beautiful little people into the world, and putting their needs first is not just a privilege I now have, but a responsibility. At the end of the day, my daughter and son need me to be all I can be for them. And if I have already given everything to other people, or tasks, and have nothing left of myself, how can I have enough left for them?

Learning to say no doesn’t mean living life in isolation, saying no to every coffee date and turning down every opportunity to help friends and family. I don’t need to live in a dirty hovel of a house and wear stinky clothes every day. But it does mean making the right choice when something has to be sacrificed, and making the choice that doesn’t compromise myself or my children. That spot on the floor will still be there tomorrow.

Regarding Bedtime, or the Lack Thereof

imageIll be the first to admit bedtime is rather unorthodox in our house. Nap times also follow a more casual pattern, my little ones tend to do the ‘plop and drop’, rather than regularly scheduled naps. I do make certain that if they don’t sleep we at least do quiet time every hour and a half, as I have discovered going much longer than that without rest results in an acute case of windmill mode. Occasionally one or the other, (or both) will go on a nap strike despite my efforts and the dire and unfortunate state of windmill mode ensues.

Due to my teaching schedule, we eat dinner pretty late. Our usual evening schedule consists of dinner after 8pm, making an early bedtime for the kiddos very difficult if we hope to have any family time at all. After I finish teaching, we feed, change and put the babies in their jammies, sometimes giving them a quick bath. They both then usually fall asleep near us in their bouncy seats, leaving us a few quiet moments to eat dinner and catch up on the day. We all four go to bed at the same time. Diapers are changed for the last time, we swaddle them up, and they both nurse to sleep. Swaddling was something we introduced later, our first attempt was not well received by my itty bitties, (think full fledged screaming rebellion). Now they love it, it has an instant calming effect and it is an important part of our little bedtime routine. I don’t have a very set routine, we try to read a story before they pass out and we nurse and cuddle to sleep, but that’s about it.

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Now, bedtime is different for every family, and you have do what works for you. Last week I had a wave of mama guilt that perhaps I should be having the babies to sleep at a certain time every night, and that maybe my lack of bedtime routine was setting us all up for disaster. I chose a night in which I didn’t teach as late, and we did bathtime, story time, and to bed by 8pm. At first, they crashed into what appeared to be a deep sleep. However, a mere 15 minutes later, bright, eager little eyes were darting around the room and smiles and giggles were growing in volume. I got back into bed and nursed them to sleep again. A little bit later, the wiggles started and my tiny wrapped munchkins were wide awake again. (I do highly recommend this process if you desire to get your daily workout in while trying to get your babies to sleep. Up, down, into bed, out of bed. Repeat).

This process continued for over the next few hours, when they finally fell asleep for good. (Or at least for the next two hours). They woke up unusually early the next day and with a major case of Cranky Baby-itis.  (Mama also had an equally major case of  Cranky Mama-itis).

After pondering the failure of our attempted bedtime, I realized I could either commit to this process and keep at it until they learned the habit and it worked, or I could continue with our current routine which is working great. They go to sleep at some time before 10, they fall asleep fast and stay asleep, and then stay in bed until usually after 9 with a quick nursing snack or two. They wake up full of smiles and in the most wonderful moods. Thus, I determined that, at least for now, a strict bedtime was not something I deemed worthy of the effort. I get up early in the morning while they’re sleeping and that gives me a little time to accomplish some house chores and work, etc. I do like that my children seem to be learning flexibility in scheduling, and as they grow older hopefully won’t have their balance completely upset when we have events, go traveling, etc.

Will this routine continue working? I don’t know, as I said before parenting is a constantly changing learning process. I do know it worked for my parents and my sisters, and I love that growing up, while we always got our needed sleep, we also got to watch fireworks and roast marshmallows and have many experiences a strict bedtime would not have permitted us to partake in. I hope to be able for my own children to have those experiences, I know they were a huge important part of my childhood. And of course, what works for babies today may not work tomorrow, and hence why my personal mama playbook is an ongoing source of discovery.

Don’t sleep through the night

People often ask me if my babies are sleeping through the night yet. No, I reply, and I’m totally ok with that. Those nighttime feedings are so precious to me, sweet sleepy eyes, tiny coos and soft smiles, little fingers reaching for mine. Of course sometimes they wake up crying, and no I don’t remember the last night I slept more than two consecutive hours, but it’s ok. I’m not ready to let go of those little moments through the night yet. Waking up to little arms and mouths reaching, knowing they only woke up because they need you, is a feeling that cannot be compared.

So no, they’re not sleeping through the night yet. None of us are ready for that.

Wear those babies! Or, how I ever get anything done

imageHaving twins presented me with an interesting daily challenge. Not only are there many times throughout the day they both need soothed at the same time, (and, while possible, holding both at the same time is difficult and somewhat exhausting), once in a while the laundry must be done and something for dinner besides peanut butter toast is lovely.

imageWhen they first arrived, I tried wearing them both in a Moby wrap. This would last a maximum of 3o minutes, as even from the beginning neither of my babies liked their heads being pinned down. I would have a brief, blissful shot at blasting around the house getting things done before the screams would begin, and I would have to frantically attempt to extricate all three of our sweaty bodies from the wrap as fast as possible. Don’t get me wrong, I know there are many ways to wear babies and many different wraps, and I look forward to exploring those as the twins get older. But there are only so many ways to  carry bobble headed babies, and they didn’t like what I had tried thus far.

Needless to say, frustration ensued. I attempted bungling together a couple different carriers I had been given in a sort of homemade back front carry situation, but it always ended in me being smashed and my babies being uncomfortable. And uncomfortable babies cry, not good.

I determined if I was to successfully soothe both babies throughout the day, let alone ever get anything accomplished again, something must be done. We conducted careful research and determined the TwinGo carrier had to be our next acquisition. Several factors led to our decision, the TwinGo had amazing reviews, it had the promise of longevity of use as it would hold the babies until they were very likely too old to want to be carried, and it could be used as both a double carrier and as single carriers when we were both out with the babies. (Or, when Grammy was around and wanted to carry a wee one). I also loved that it was designed by a mother of twins. So, we bit the bullet and ordered one. Thanks to Amazon prime, our carrier arrived in the mail full of promise a mere couple of days later. (I know, I just really love Amazon).

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At first, the babies were not convinced. What was this thing and why was I stuffing them in it?! But after a few minutes of fussing they both fell fast asleep. And without fail, (short of being hungry or having a diaper situation) they will both sleep and hang out happily while I run errands, take out the trash, wash dishes, vacuum, etc. In great excitement I called to show my family on FaceTime. Game. Changer! Watch me work! Now when they’re fussy I can cuddle them both, all while making dinner or putting away the laundry.

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In short, I highly recommend the TwinGo. It is a lot like two Ergo carriers combined into one double carrier. Super comfy and supportive for parent and babies, breathable, and easy to use. (Even I can figure out how to attach it!). It’s also possible to carry kiddos of different sizes for those wanting to carry siblings. So far, our TwinGo has been vital to household chores, errands, general walks around the neighborhood, and my own sanity. Stand by, as I know I will have more adventures of twin carrying to share soon!