So I’ve struggled and prayed for days over whether to share this, honestly it can be a little terrifying to share things that I know might cause people to have powerful reactions, but I feel my heart being led to share, so here goes. I read a post in a mom group the other day, and it broke my heart into shards. The thread started by a mama pouring her heart out that she didn’t know how difficult it was going to be having kids, and that basically, she’s utterly miserable.
My heart BROKE. Broke for her, broke for her kids, a miserable mama does not make for a happy home for growing little ones. This mama was not prepared for the reality of motherhood. And her and her children are paying the price.
The post thread was a long one filled with mamas pouring their hearts out about how miserable parenting was making them, they missed doing things for themselves, they wished their bodies back, they were tired of it being all about their children and not them.
I couldn’t stop reading the post, tears poured down my face and my stomach felt ill, it was like a train wreck I couldn’t look away from, and the more I read the more my heart broke.
In addition to hurting for these mamas who were actively wishing their parenthood away, I felt physically sick for the children. It wasn’t just venting, it was real and visceral pain. These mamas, and their babes too, were truly suffering.
I ache for those mamas, who were not prepared for the reality of motherhood.
It’s not about us right now. Yes, we need to practice self care, for us ourselves because we are worthy, to set an example, and so we can continue to get up and give our all every day, because reality is: right now, our kids need to come first. They cannot survive, let alone thrive, without US.
Children KNOW when we do not find joy in them, when we are weary of the labor they are. The type of environment that arises from this is not healthy and does not produce confident and happy adults.
I ache for those children, who didn’t ask to be born, and who know they are not bringing joy, even if they do not comprehend the depths of it right now, it is taking an effect and will change who they become.
Motherhood isn’t easy. We are tasked with the incredible honor of creating and molding HUMAN BEINGS. It is a daily, completely consuming, never lessening, constant demand on us.
Choosing to become a parent means putting someone else’s needs before your own, always. It’s not without daily sacrifice and struggle. But choosing to become a parent is the greatest privilege we could ever attain.
Their lives literally depend on us. I pray for those mamas, I pray they can receive love and encouragement and be able to change their mindset, and that one day they won’t face bitter regret. I pray for those children, they deserve to be given the opportunity to grow in love.
Parenthood is hard. But it is a choice. OUR👏🏼 CHOICE👏🏼. Not our children’s choice. We. Chose. Them. And with that choice comes responsibility.
They learn His love through us. If you are feeling miserable and overwhelmed, please do not be ashamed to seek help. This is hard! and it’s ok to say it! IT IS OKAY TO NEED SUPPORT. It does👏🏼not👏🏼 make you a failure mama! You AND your child are worthy. We only get once chance with them. One day, they will go into the world armed with what we gave them. Let us give them what they need to succeed. #honestmotherhood