Do you know why beauty is important? I didn’t. Furthermore, do you know what you consider to be beautiful? I didn’t know that either. And I’m not talking about just inner beauty or outer beauty. I’m talking about beauty in every part of your life. From the time your feet hit the floor to the time your eyes close. When you look in the mirror and when you walk down the street. I did know I didn’t feel beautiful, (my insides or my outsides), that my life didn’t feel beautiful and that what I experienced every day was anything but beautiful. And you know what can happen when you don’t see beauty? Everything starts looking ugly. Even the things that aren’t. And before you know it, the situation snowballs and suddenly your life has become a negative whirlwind and full of anti-beauty and, if you’re anything like I was, you don’t even realize it. Let me explain.
A little bit ago, I was having a conversation with one of my sisters and she was sharing about a friend of hers she deeply respects for always being positive, like, ALWAYS. Always finding the good in situations, always turning things around into a good light, you get the point. My response was, “Gah, that must be exhausting to be around”. And it didn’t hit me until a few hours later, and when it did it was a brick to the face. I suddenly realized the GIANT wall of judgement I had built up inside my heart towards positivity and people who constantly maintained that mindset. And I was COMPLETELY unaware I had become this way! Suddenly I was sitting there stunned at the realization that while I truly believed myself to be a positive person, I had allowed my circumstances to dictate the attitude in my heart. To the point that when my sister was talking about her positive friend, I had a visceral negative reaction of gah how exhausting.
The person I thought I was, suddenly I realized, I wasn’t. Life has been hard at times, pretty damn hard since I’m being honest, and without realizing it at all, I had let it beat me down until I became an expert at that “blame game” I talked about in my relaunch post the other day and instead of looking for the silver linings I was finding excuses as to why I so rarely saw them. And you’ve heard what you put out you receive? It’s the truth. What you put out WILL effect your life. And so I did a little experiment. Ha, just kidding. It wasn’t little. It was hard. And scary. And honestly WORK. I started deliberately working to catch myself with every reaction to I had to every thing and making a decision to stay positive, despite how the circumstances appeared. And the craziest thing happened. Things started going right. NOW it is very, VERY important to note that choosing to live a positive lifestyle doesn’t mean that every moment of every day you’re going to be freaking Mary Poppins. Did you see that Instagram post I made the other day about how I was channeling my inner Te Kā and NOT my inner Te Fiti? Well guess what. I know without doubt that is NOT the last time that will happen. I’m going to cry, and get mad, and feel hopeless. My children are going to make me want to pull my hair out and something in my marriage is going to frustrate me and I am going to fail, (most likely epically!), at something. I’m going to lose my temper, I’m going to yell, I’m going to maybe even slam a door or two. BUT THAT DOES NOT DEFINE ME. It does NOT mean that I have utterly failed to live a positive beautiful lifestyle and may as well give up and go home. What it means is I am human, and bad days don’t mean a bad life, UNLESS I ALLOW THEM TO. The power is ours. We decide, every moment. And we decide whether we permit those bad moments to turn into bad lives, or we remember who we really are, and we are not monsters ladies, unless we allow ourselves to be. We may have monster moments, but unless we choose to allow those moments to define our lives, we each can choose to embrace ourselves as beautiful and can thus lead beautiful lives.